Enough of College Football, But One More Worth Noting

Talk about fan brutality! Obviously there is no quarter for prisoners when it comes to the Big 12, particularly when their own teams lose. Following is part of a news report from the Columbia (MO) Tribune reporting yesterday's Missouri loss - not the Navy win - of the Tigers to the Midshipmen in the Texas Bowl (1). I love the introductory Discovery Channel metaphor that played off of an "11 hyenas" quote from Head Coach Ken Niumatalolo about Navy defensive team work.

Given the fan comments that followed the report, particularly calling for coaching changes, I suggest the Tribune writer could add another metaphor - this one from the the National Geographic Channel - as a way to respond to the fans comments and for where the University of Missouri administration could look for new coaching staff additions - particularly if there are future games against the Service Academies. From my point-of-view, Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer could be an effective addition to the staff who would give insights into ways larger and superior mammals can learn to control smallish mammals, such as Chihuahuas from Hell, that swarm and confuse their larger prey before taking control.
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Tigers Torn Asunder by Miniature Mids
By Joe Walljasper, Columbia Tribune
December 31, 2009

HOUSTON — The sport of football, as Missouri understands it, involves a lot of 6-foot-5 guys. One 6-5 guy catches a shotgun snap and throws it to another 6-5 guy while five bulky 6-5 guys get in the way of the giants in the opposing uniforms. This is the way it works, no?

Not necessarily.

Navy, with its quaint 260-pound linemen, proved that what is old-fashioned is not obsolete as it sliced the Tigers to ribbons in Thursday’s Texas Bowl.

Navy Coach Ken Niumatalolo described his team’s approach as “11 hyenas taking down an elephant.” The Midshipmen’s 35-13 victory certainly had that Discovery Channel vibe, with the Tigers torn apart down by the river while the narrator assured us that this magnificent display of a brutal teamwork was simply the circle of life and no cause for sadness.

Afterward, Missouri’s players seemed more mystified than miffed, as if they couldn’t have solved this riddle in a hundred tries. Those miniature offensive players, all clumped together in the middle of field, firing out of their stances and diving at our knees, what was that all about? That triple-option play — with the quarterback, fullback or slotback capable of carrying the ball depending on what the QB saw — wasn’t it outlawed in the mid-1980s? And how could we be expected to complete our passes when nine defenders were dropped into coverage?

.....Missouri finished its season 8-5, which is not too shabby for a rebuilding year. Eight starters will return on each side of the ball. A star-studded recruiting class full of bigger and better 6-5 athletes waits in the wings.

Everything is rolling on the right track. But it is interesting to note that a team on a completely different track, a team with players who wouldn’t interest Missouri in the slightest, is capable of dominating MU in every conceivable way. There’s more than one way to slay an elephant.
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(1) For the full Tribune article, and the fan responses, go to: http://www.tigerextra.com/news/2009/dec/31/tigers-torn-asunder-miniature-mids/?sports